As your child grows, you will begin to see that one of the love languages speaks far more deeply of your love than the others; also, when that one is used negatively, your child feels very hurt.
You can employ the following methods as you seek to discover your child’s primary love language.
1. Observe How Your Child Expresses Love to You.
this first method is best used for children who are between five and ten years of age.
2. Observe How Your Child Expresses Love to Others.
3. Listen to What Your Child Requests Most Often.
4. Notice What Your Child Most Frequently Complains About.
Every child complains now and then. Many of these complaints are related to immediate desires and are not necessarily an indication of a love language. But if the complaints fall into a pattern so that more than half the complaints focus on one love language, then they are highly indicative. Their frequency is the key.
5. Give Your Child a Choice Between Two Options.
Giving choices will be helpful only if you do it often enough to see a pattern showing a clear preference in love languages.
Teenagers at times make it difficult for you to fill their emotional love tank. They are testing you, to see if you really love them.
If you can remain calm, cool, and kind (firm but kind), you pass the test and your teens will eventually mature beyond that difficult stage.
Whatever your child’s love language may be, remember that it’s important to speak all five languages.
In addition, learning to speak all five love languages will help us to nurture people throughout our lives, not only our children but spouses and friends and relatives.
As parents, we need to remember that learning the love languages is a maturational process, and that becoming mature is a slow, painful, and often difficult journey.